What’s the proper response?
I learned the hard way that when a friend tells me she’s ready to kill herself for real this time, the correct response is not to say, “Oh, okay, so if this is the last time I’m going to see you, I guess I should make the most of the day.” We were shopping at the local mall, and I tried to make it a fun day for her.
When I tried on a bra at the Victoria’s Secret, she laughed as she saw my feet leave the ground under the stall. I had to jump up and down to see if it was going to do the job, right? Looking through the sale rack at The Gap, all they had was size zero’s, and I said a little loudly, “I guess anorexia is out of fashion this year.” Then I showed her a farewell card in the Hallmark store, which I’m sure was like salt in her wound, and not nearly as funny as I thought it would be.
She told her therapist what I’d done, and her therapist assured her that she didn’t need friends like me. I’m sure her therapist was right. But I’m also glad to say she didn’t kill herself.
Maybe I was calling her bluff. Maybe I was insensitive not to take her pain seriously. Maybe I need my own therapist. But really, what are you supposed to say to that?